Week 2, Friday

Yesterday's calories 2372 (not good...)

5 x 8 reps - 60kg deadlifts
                   20kg bulgarian squats
                   20kg lunges
                   50 squat jumps in 2 sets
                   50 calf raises with 8kg dumbbells in each hand, 20/15/15
                   plank - 2minutes/1minute
                   60 reverse crunches in two sets
                   And again, I didn't do the 60 hanging knee raises. I gave it a good go, and got to a whole 7 reps before my shoulders gave up. So I punished my weak ligaments by doing 60 slow crunches and then 2 sets of 20 more reverse crunches. Needless to say, my abs hurt a little today (the day after...)

There's nothing much of note from this workout, apart from a source of fresh inspiration. I went into the free weights area to start my deadlifts, only to come across another woman! It's pretty rare to find another woman in the free weights area, although I don't fully understand why. Please don't think I'm making some anti-feminist sociological statement with that comment, I'm speaking only from experience. When I discovered another woman, I was curious as to what she might be doing. She was doing some pretty heavy clean lifts, and I have to admit I was in awe. My awe only increased when she bench pressed 42.5kg repeatedly, unsupervised. At the height of my strength training I was able to press 45kg once, shaking like a defecating dog the whole time, and that was only with the security of a spotter standing over me (there have been rumours that I've managed 50kg - but I was blindfolded at the time - this is apparently a legitimate training technique, but as a consequence of my blindfold, I do not believe that I fully pressed 50kg). Anyway, this woman just repped out, seemingly without even thinking. Suddenly my 60kg deadlifts seemed rather measly, and my routine rather pointless. I suppose everyone has their moments of feeling inadequate, and this was one of many for me. But I take my sweatband off to her, she looked fantastic (both aesthetically and in terms of technique) and deserved to be told as much, so I did. I asked her how long she'd been training and whether she competed. My eyes were green with envy but I still felt I needed to pass on my kudos. I am banking that feeling of envy and drawing on that for my next workout.

I have one more thing to note. I have made the decision to re-introduce a very limited amount of bread into my diet. This decision has not come to me lightly, and those of you who know me (and  those who have bothered to read this far...) will realise that this decision incites cold hard fear into the deepest, darkest crannies of my soul. I gave up starchy carbs in a bid to lose weight a number of years ago, and consequently lost 2.5 stone. I am now terrified that if I start eating these carbs again I'm going to expand at an alarming rate. My reasoning for starting to eat these carbs again is because actually, I'm really tired of being hungry. I'm not going to start eating massive portions of pasta or whole loaves of white bread. And I'm not quite ready to eat normal bread, so I'm going for a spot of Burgen bread with linseed and sunflower seeds. Because I've not eaten bread for some time, my body has forgotten what it's meant to do with it. I've had probably 4 slices in nearly 3 years, and each time it has nearly killed me. So I figured I'd start with a lower carb, lower GI bread and hope for the best. I'm also experimenting with flaxseed and some nuts. Nuts have been firmly on my 'banned foods' list but apparently it's good for me to have some almonds and peanut butter with my low GI bread. It's essentially a diet-overhaul. Believe me when I say I'm worried, but I will keep strict tabs on my weight as well as my athletic performance and also my constant feelings of hunger. If I can eat this way and perform better whilst still maintaining a satisfactory weight then I'll be a happy bunny. (That's my nod to Easter.)